Sohma Kyou

God damn it, I do not want to be here. Tohru is such an idiot! Anybody else would look at a place called "Camp Fuck You Die" and know it was a bad idea! Why would Akito send her out here in the first place, anyway? I knew something was weird from the start, but after about a month went by with no letters, and both the wave girl and the yankee chick went after her, I really got worried suspicious and looked this place up on the computers at school. Zombies. Akito sent Tohru to a camp full of zombies! What, does he want her to get her brain eaten?

So now I've gotta drag myself out to this stupid summer camp full of freaking zombies just so I can make sure Tohru doesn't get herself killed, trusting, kind-hearted fool that she is! Oh, and that's not even getting started on all the other crap that's wrong with this camp! I've been here for two hours and I've already seen giant crocodiles, purple gorillas, and some sort of tentacle stickin' outta the lake! I swear I just saw another a talking cat run past me! Somebody was screaming about psychotic fruits! (There're gonna be evil leeks, I just know it...)

And, yeah, did I mention the zombies yet? They've been trying to grab onto me worse than Kagura ever did! And I can't even use them as practice dummies 'cause they get green gunk all over my hands when I punch them!

And the camp lost my luggage. Bastards.

Alright, I am not staying here any longer than I have to. Gotta find Tohru and drag her out of this demented swamp. Geez, making me go to all this trouble for her I MEAN! It's not like I, uh, it's just... Shigure won't shut up about her being all alone and defenseless! And the house hasn't been cleaned in weeks and I'm sick of cooking and I'm sick of takeout! And for some reason I get really grouchy when she's not around.